You have too much time on your hands 1

[ESquared]

What is your impression of the phrase, "you have too much time on your hands?"

I am always slightly miffed when people tell me this, because to me it means something like "I don't approve of your activity" or "only a fool would be interested in something so boring" or "what you've done is totally worthless." It's been said to me many times in my life, usually when someone is viewing art I have done or they see I have spent time on some pursuit they have no interest in, such as mathematics.

Depending on the thing that the person is reacting to, it makes me want to respond "at least I don't suffer from a total lack of creativity" or "excuse me for wasting my time on something not important to you" or "for you it *would* be a waste of time to try your hand at it."

Of course, I don't say any of those, but instead just grumble a little.

Am I wrong? If it's not derogatory, what exactly does it mean? Why say it at all? If you ever tell people this, what kind of response do you expect?

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It is better to have honor than a good reputation.
(Reputation is what other people think about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.)

 

[sleipnir214]

I think you have it right. The phrase contains an implicit reproval for your having used the time in the activity.

So long as the time I've spent in the activity was truly my time (I was not goofing off on the job, etc.), I've never felt it necessary to justify the activity. Depending on circumstances, I have two standard replies:

He: You have way too much time on your hands.
I: Yep. Don't you wish you did, too?

or

He: You have way too much time on your hands.
I: Hey, it keeps me off the streets and out of the pool halls.


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[KenCunningham]

In my experience the phrase tends to be used in a humorous manner as in 'you have way too much time on your hands', where the way is stressed and thus adds to the implication that perhaps what you're doing is a luxury to those who don't have the same opportunity.

Talking of which - I'd better get back to work!

 

[RodKnowlton]

The thing to remember, though, is that there's usual an aspect of envy on the part of the person saying it.

I don't mind being envied, at all.

- Rod

"You were only killing time, and it'll kill you right back."
- Jim Steinman

 

[Chance1234]

I agree with RodKnowlton re the Jealously aspect, but in a very light hearted way.



Chance,

Filmmaker, gentlemen and My First Short

 

[medic]

Interesting. I didn't know the phrase can have such derogatory meanings. My basic understanding of it is similar to what KenCunningham described...that is, when somebody can afford a hobby that requires time and effort.

 

[KenCunningham]

I guess it can be linked to 'the Devil makes work for idle hands' too.

 

[Dimandja]

I think it depends on who says it, and how they it (the context).

If your boss says it, you are probably reading this, instead of fixing that program she assigned to you.

 

[KenCunningham]

Interesting that you should use 'she' in the boss context, Dimandja!

 

[medic]

Another one is, when somebody handles or creates things more intricate than the ordinary.

 

[Dimandja]

>Interesting that you should use 'she' in the boss context, Dimandja!

I wonder too. 'See, in my last 3 assignments (or more) my bosses were women. It's a trend, I tell you.

 

[KenCunningham]

Or a conspiracy? Oddly enough my last three wives have been women too!

 

[MikeBarone]

In the dictionary it says"

on hand - present and easily available; "the cash on hand is adequate for current needs"; "emergency police were on hand in case of trouble"; "a visible supply"; "visible resources"

This is simply an extension of that adjective. Too much time, as I am sure you know, simply means that you have "too much" time.

I usually find this statement used when someone does a tash and seems to spend way too much time on the details, or they go overboard in some way. Other times I see they the person might spend too much time on a seemingly mondane task.

 

[ESquared]

There seem to be two basic understandings: envy or disapproval.

I've never heard the envy when someone said this to me, only the disapproval. It never used to bother me except that it has continued over the years.

In any case, someone telling me that I have gone overboard or wasted my time on what is to them mundane is insulting, to me. If they are in a business situation and think that I have spent too much time, they should discuss it in an informational and professional way, rather than casting aspersions.

E²

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It is better to have honor than a good reputation.
(Reputation is what other people think about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.)

 

[edfair]

I see it as more of a mild rebuke to my choice of project rather than a comment on my time utilization.

But it goes in one ear and out the other. My time, my decision, my project. Who is to know what the end result is meant to be.

Ed Fair
Give the wrong symptoms, get the wrong solutions.

 

[SQLSister]

Esquared, from what I've seen of your responses in the SQL Server forums, you are one of the smartest people out there. Probably top 1% or better. This generally makes it difficult for people not in that range to understand your interests because you absolutely do not think like they do.

If your boss is saying such things pay attention, as he/she has the right to determine what you spend your time on at work. If your spouse says such things, pay attention, it might mean that you aren't paying enough attention to the relationship or that your spouse wants you to spend more time on maintaining the household and less on hobbies. Everyone else, ignore or respond with some type of catty remark back.

Of course, if someone said that about my art, they might find themselves the subject of my next painting and not in a nice way either.

Questions about posting. See faq183-874

 

[ESquared]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I have gotten some new perspectives I didn't have before:

• Consider that it could be envy rather than spite.
• Consider that in a business environment, the dynamic is very different, because the employer has a right to expect 100% productivity with no time left for idle pursuits.
• Otherwise, don't be so uptight! Don't let it bother me, because my time and interests are my own. Except when they're not, as in the case of personal relationships.

It's a lifelong job, this process of developing myself. I know that I have a lot of areas that need improvement and some of my edges are pretty rough. I take some small consolation in the fact that I am willing to listen and I do actively seek advice and correction for my foibles.

The most recent instance that "set me off," so to speak, was about math and was not a work situation. Most of the ones in the past have been artwork with clay or binder clips or wordplay, and many of them *were* at work (but were done when I was doing tech support on the phone, for example, and was perfectly legitimate).

Again, thanks for your input.

-------------------------------------
It is better to have honor than a good reputation.
(Reputation is what other people think about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.)

 

[SteveGlo]

Being a bit of an anorak myself I have noticed that it is very unusual for other people to show any genuine interest in my hobbies although they have expressed some disbelief at the money and or time I spend on them.

But eh - its all some sort of displacement activity isn't it ?

 

[MakeItSo]

some disbelief at the money and or time I spend on them

As far as I know, the only difference between a little boy and a grown man is the price of the toys, so nothing to disbelieve in...


[blue]The last voice we will hear before the world explodes will be that of an expert saying:
"This is technically impossible!" - Sir Peter Ustinov[/blue]

 

[ascotta]

ESquared I have used the phrase in the past. When I use it, it is normally an admission that the concept has gone way over the top of my head. It is just an admission of differing priorities. It is always used by me in fun.

But then again I can suffer from a lack of attention to detail. I am envious of those who can keep their concentration span longer than that of a goldfish. I was going to say jealuos but I think that rather strong.



[blue]Arguably the best cat skinner around ! [/blue]

Cheers
Scott