Well, you said that you wanted to load something on your form. The easiest thing would be to create an ActiveX control for that. But if your server is NOT an ActiveX control, you can make it a child window of your form. For that the server needs to have the handle to the form, so it can set it as its parent window. I don't know which language the server is written in, but if it's in C++ you're probably creating the window with CreateWindow(Ex) and then you could pass the hWnd of your VB form to this function. In VB it would be a bit more difficult, because a form is a dialog, NOT an ordinary window. You would have to go into APIs to create an ordinary window.
Now, if you have the server window and its parent handle, you have to pass the handle to the server window to your VB form via a callback or a connection point (event). This way you can position the window on your VB form with the SetWindowPos API or other window manipulation APIs.
I admit that it ain't easy but it's the only way I can think of doing what you want to do without using an ActiveX control. You cannot manipulate ordinary windows on your VB form (or any other kind of window) the way you would with ActiveX controls (like Left, Width etc.) simply because the interfaces to communicate with the container (and the oter way around) are missing if it isn't an ActiveX control.
Greetings,
Rick