Unless you're using a flash form the "ugly grey box" is the standard alert() box in JS.
If you want something else you'll have to:
1. look into learning JS and creating a pop-up (which these days would most likely be blocked)
2. or use CF to do the validation and spit out the error anyway you want after the page is submitted.
cfform = evil
We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.
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