Ok, I actually got a working solution in place and figured I'd share the results. Anybody who has ever paid money for an e-mail antivirus, filtering, or security solution needs to check this stuff out. I've set up Linux servers with Sendmail before, but never delved as deeply into the AV and filtering solutions that are available. You can pay tens of thousands of dollars on solutions, or you can do it all for free. Amazing.
I set up Dell PowerEdge 2650 with CentOS (which installs on just about any hardware with no problem whatsoever); CentOS is basically Enterprise Red Hat Linux, minus the logo:
(NOTE: The reason I used a whole server and not VMWARE as Griffyn suggested is because a) I ended up with several spares after a consolidation project, and b) I plan on using several other *NIX utilities on this server to get as much use out of it as I can - possibly MRTG, Snort, RADIUS or some others)
I configured Sendmail to use the MIMEDefang milter
to strip out the attachments that I do not want to come through.
Then enabled relaying for all the domains I wanted to do forwarding for, and BLAMM-O! Working filtering solution for (practically) free.