True enough. I ended up calling their support and they had to install a plugin of some kind to actually communicate to the 5000. Turning SMDR on is pretty much all I did on my end. Also for future reference, OfficeWatch listens on port 4000 despite the 5000's Help saying port 4000 is no longer used for SMDR.
I have dreamed a dream, but now that dream has gone from me.