×
INTELLIGENT WORK FORUMS
FOR COMPUTER PROFESSIONALS

Log In

Come Join Us!

Are you a
Computer / IT professional?
Join Tek-Tips Forums!
  • Talk With Other Members
  • Be Notified Of Responses
    To Your Posts
  • Keyword Search
  • One-Click Access To Your
    Favorite Forums
  • Automated Signatures
    On Your Posts
  • Best Of All, It's Free!

*Tek-Tips's functionality depends on members receiving e-mail. By joining you are opting in to receive e-mail.

Posting Guidelines

Promoting, selling, recruiting, coursework and thesis posting is forbidden.

Students Click Here

Geek humor
4

Geek humor

Geek humor

(OP)
Math:
Q: What's the square root of 69?
A: 8 something.
Q: Why do you like 77 more than 69?
A: 69 and then 8 more.

Engineer:
The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The engineer says you used the wrong size glass.

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

RE: Geek humor

If Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% Perspiration is that why really bright people smell so bad?

Aspiring to mediocrity since 1957

RE: Geek humor

2

I'd call it tasteless, crude, inappropriate humor; especailly inappropriate for Tek-Tips.

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

Surely if it's that bad you'd Red Flag it. Tasteless, yes, but we are all adults here aren't we?

Aspiring to mediocrity since 1957

RE: Geek humor

Its like the celebrity sandwich shop that tried offering the John and Bo Derek sub, nobody liked it because it was tasteless.

RE: Geek humor

When the first Trojan Horse virus came out, it was in the form of an e-mail offering a free prize. The CBS anchor Charles Osgood commented:

Spoiler:

The moral of the story is: Beware of Geeks bearing gifts.

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

RE: Geek humor

The door mat I always wanted to get..."There's no place like 127.0.0.1"

RE: Geek humor

I actually made this joke up - not a Geek joke, but a Geek's joke.

Q: What does a mortician magician say when performing his magic trick?
A: Abracadaver!

ACSS - SME
General Geek

RE: Geek humor

CODE


+---------+
|         |
|127.0.0.1|
 \       /
   \   /
     V
 

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

Skip,

Very clever, but our non-American friends have no clue what your diagram means.

santaMufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

RE: Geek humor

It certainly is not cricket!

In the game of baseball, there are 4 bases. Three are square bags and the 4th is a 5 sided shape, the placement of each has a side on a baseline and resides completely within the in-bound area of play.

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

...this 5-sided base is called "home" or "home plate."

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

Baseball, That's rounders isn't it?

A Maintenance contract is essential, not a Luxury.
Do things on the cheap & it will cost you dear

RE: Geek humor

Lastest take on 2 kinds of people in this world:

1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

**********************************************
What's most important is that you realise ... There is no spoon.

RE: Geek humor

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.


There are 3 types of people in the world
Those who can count, and those who can't.

84% of all statistics are made up.

Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg http://parallel.tzo.com

RE: Geek humor

|There are 10 types of people in the world.
|Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
(and those that didn't expect this to be in base 3)

**********************************************
What's most important is that you realise ... There is no spoon.

RE: Geek humor

(OP)
(this is true). 70% of Americans think that they are Above Average drivers. Of course, this means that at least 20% are wrong.

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

RE: Geek humor

Quote (johnherman)

(this is true). 70% of Americans think that they are Above Average drivers. Of course, this means that at least 20% are wrong.
Not necessarily. Let's assign ratings between 1 and 10 for driving skill. If 80% of American drivers score an 8, and 20% score a 3, the average score would be 7. This would mean that 10% of American drivers actually underestimate their driving ability.

RE: Geek humor

Wow, that's pretty optimistic. From my experience, most drivers are equally bad. Say 95% rating around a 3. Since only 5% or less of us good drivers are rated higher than that, at least 95% of drivers are below average. Every one of those 3's that think they're a better driver are wrong! Maybe that's just Southern California though. bigsmile

KornGeek, your point is well taken. The actual "average" can be skewed higher or lower than someone may be assuming. I think when most people say they are better than average, they are using the term "average" to mean the middle of that 1 to 10 scale (5.5).


RE: Geek humor

Reminds me of an Abbot & Costello routine, where Costello is conversing with a cabby regarding his tip...

Costello: "Excuse me , how much do you usually get for a tip?

Cabby: "Well the average tip is $10.00."

So Costello hands him a ten dollar bill.

Cabby: "You're the first person who's ever come up to the average!"

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

(OP)
KornGeek makes a good point. As most of us who took statistics know, there are at least 3 measures of central tendency (aka average): Mean, Median, and Mode. Mean being the most susceptible to extreme values.

So, if it only takes one or two people who can't drive in the rain (or snow) to screw up traffic for everyone, KornGeek's logic is quite right.

An old classic from the 1950's worth a read......"How to Lie with Statistics".
http://www.amazon.com/How-Lie-Statistics-Darrell-H...

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

RE: Geek humor


Quote (Homer Simpson)

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forty percent of people know that.

Quote from Homer Simpson Quotes

Have fun.

---- Andy

RE: Geek humor

There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Best Regards,
Scott
ATS, CDCE

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."hammer

RE: Geek humor

Did you realize that birth is hereditary?

Yea, if your parents didn't have children, then you won't either!

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

Skip, I've thought about that before. I thought it was pretty interesting to think that for me to be alive, every one of my ancestors, all the way back to the first organism on this planet, had to have have been successful at producing offspring. They all were fit to survive, and they all prevailed. Think of all the organisms that failed along the way. We are all the result of a pretty impressive winning streak.

RE: Geek humor

And where did the first organism come from?

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

I don't know, but my existence is proof enough for me that there was one.

RE: Geek humor

How is that? Has anyone has ever observed this or reproduced such?

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

I'm not sure I understand what you are asking, or even if you are talking to me. It feels like you want to debate abiogenesis vs something else, but I am relatively new here and I'm not sure if that's the sort of topic that people want on this site.

RE: Geek humor

==> It feels like you want to debate abiogenesis vs something else, but I am relatively new here and I'm not sure if that's the sort of topic that people want on this site.
That would not be an appropriate topic for discussion in MAI; however, it would very acceptable in STC (forum1229: Squaring The Circle).

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886: How can I maximize my chances of getting an answer?
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something. - Plato

RE: Geek humor

Quote (Skip)

Did you realize that birth is hereditary?

Yea, if your parents didn't have children, then you won't either!

This is strangely similar to a conversation I was having with my kids (ages 9, 11, 13, and 15) recently. They were talking about all of the different things that have been shown to cause cancer. I told them that oxygen causes cancer. They didn't believe me.

I told them, people who don't breathe oxygen don't get cancer. One by one it sank in and they started laughing. (We have odd senses of humor in my house.)

RE: Geek humor

Great correlation!

Skip,

glassesJust traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE!tongue

RE: Geek humor

Actually, they've found that DiHydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) has been present in every cancer cell that they have ever tested. Hmmm... and yet, this dangerous chemical is still unregulated by the government. Why?

http://www.dhmo.org/

Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg http://parallel.tzo.com

RE: Geek humor

That stuff is everywhere gbaughma. It's even in the drinking fountain here at work! Did you ever see that comedy show (I think it was the Man Show) where they got all of these hippies to sign a petition to get rid of DHMO from some city's fountain?

RE: Geek humor

Even so-called "Organic" produce is regularly treated with DHMO! When will the madness end?

RE: Geek humor

Quote (Dr. D D Perrin)

A mosquito was heard to complain
That a chemist had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
Was paradichloro
Diphenyltrichloroethane.

Spoiler:

DDT

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

RE: Geek humor

(OP)
That DHMO stuff is almost as dangerous as Hydrogen Hydroxide.

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

Red Flag This Post

Please let us know here why this post is inappropriate. Reasons such as off-topic, duplicates, flames, illegal, vulgar, or students posting their homework.

Red Flag Submitted

Thank you for helping keep Tek-Tips Forums free from inappropriate posts.
The Tek-Tips staff will check this out and take appropriate action.

Reply To This Thread

Posting in the Tek-Tips forums is a member-only feature.

Click Here to join Tek-Tips and talk with other members! Already a Member? Login


Close Box

Join Tek-Tips® Today!

Join your peers on the Internet's largest technical computer professional community.
It's easy to join and it's free.

Here's Why Members Love Tek-Tips Forums:

Register now while it's still free!

Already a member? Close this window and log in.

Join Us             Close