Unable to create a data connection

I have been trying and troubleshooting for two days on this one problem. I has a sharepoint site and i am trying to create a data connection in frontpage for this site to another sharepoint site on a different server. they are in the same subnet/network. I am the dbo for both. I keep receiving the message that the data retrieval service is having trouble locating it. If i add a customized code to connect it always tells me that the authentication is wrong. I have sql and windows authentication both turned on both servers. I can however connect in frontpage to the local server just not the remote one. Am I missing a step to make this happen? this is one of those things they wanted yesterday so I'm under a lot of pressure to get this connection created.

any help would be soooo appreciated.