I had the same problem. Read the posts in this forum and you'll find that Microsoft released a patch for a similar problem. I have discovered that my mail server was being bombarded by spam mail and my smtp queue got so big that it kept on crashing smtp and exchange routing services. So far I have disabled NDRs, added recipient filtering so far my exchange has been running ok but my logs keep on filling up with attempted relaying and messages infected by worms/viruses/spam. Luckly I have a very good anti-virus that scans emails.
For us it was a corrupt email message. Every time Exchange tried to process it, it would kill the service. Stopping all Exchange services, wiping the queue and restarting solved the problem.
Why not have a relay server running anti spam? This will make exchange run smoother and not have to deal with all this BS. Look into Barracude, brightmail, or mail frontier.
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