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Ig Nobel Literature Prize

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tsdragon

Programmer
Dec 18, 2000
5,133
US
Daniel Oppenheimer, for his report "Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly."



Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
Eschew obfuscation, I always say.

Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui!

 
I have a special love for people who misuse large and/or relatively obscure words in a effort to sound more educated. A recent case in point:

I was at a PTA meeting at my son's elementary school, and the school's Cub Scout Troop had a presentation about joining. The Troop leader was extolling the virtues of joining the Cub Scouts, when he said, "Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts compromise 25% of all boys in the United States."

Now I know that what he meant to say is that the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts comprise 25% of the boys in the United States, but I think that even that is an incorrect usage. I believe the correct usage would be, "The Cub Scouts Boy Scouts are comprised of 25% ...". However, even that does not sound quite right.

The guy just should have said "25% of boys in the United States are members of the Cub Scouts or Boy Scouts." Clear and to the point.

At least a friend who also was there joined me in a good laugh at the man's misuse of compromise.

I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

Arrrr, mateys! Ye needs ta be preparin' yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day! Ye has a choice: talk like a pira
 
Sometimes it's dangerous.
My father reminds me of the time that, at a dinner, a guest (who knows ONE person of them all), went and said that modern Germany had some nazi taint left. His explanation?
"Well, the military planes were from the Luftwaffe and the company today is called Lufthansa"

... Yes. Right.

(For those who don't speak German, "Luft" means 'air' ...)

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"
 
Trevoke,
Perhaps he was a luftkopf?

I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

Arrrr, mateys! Ye needs ta be preparin' yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day! Ye has a choice: talk like a pira
 
In Russian 'sympathy' means 'cuteness' if I can put it this way. So when boss of that Russian guy had a first child THE guy said: 'My sympathy' to the father of the child which I am sure could be substituted by simple 'Congratulations!'
which probably seemed too long for the young immigrant. Who knows?

But something like this one never forgets, does he?
 
I REALLY, REALLY hate it when people use "myself" instead of "me" in an effort to sound more educated. Even news anchorpersons are doing it now!

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
<Austin Powers>
Allow myself to introduce.... myself
</Austin Powers>

I hate that, too, Tracy.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.
 
I think there was a survey a few years ago where they asked a question like "Is heterosexuality inherently wrong ?" and a majority of the respondants said they agreed with the statement.
 
In high school my best friend and I used to get a big kick out of using long phrases that sounded dirty be really weren't. Some of my favorites from that time:

Osculation (kissing)
Interdigitation (holding hands)
Matriculation (enrolling in school)
Ululating (wailing)
Masticating (chewing)

I used to spend hours browsing through the dictionary looking for new words. That's probably part of the reason I have such a good vocabulary now.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
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