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They were found by a witness lying in the streetHelpful Member!(4) 

NorthNone (Programmer) (OP)
7 Dec 11 12:30
If the witness was lying in the street, how did the witness find them?

SantaMufasa (TechnicalUser)
7 Dec 11 13:18
Perhaps the hit-and-run driver hit three people (one of which was a witness). All three then ended up lying in the street, right?

santaMufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
"People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

CajunCenturion (Programmer)
7 Dec 11 13:33
Perhaps the witness was trying to take a nap but was still awake at the time of the accident.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886: How can I maximize my chances of getting an answer?
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.  - Plato

BadBigBen (MIS)
7 Dec 11 19:11
I just love it, when proofreaders go home for the night... winky smile

it's always a pleasure when commata are forgotten...

Ben
"If it works don't fix it! If it doesn't use a sledgehammer..."
How to ask a question, when posting them to a professional forum.
Only ask questions with yes/no answers if you want "yes" or "no"

Turkbear (TechnicalUser)
8 Dec 11 0:14
If a bus can read a paper then a witness can lie in the street.

Remember a classic example of misplaced modifiers?(We had this one in school many,many years ago).

Spoiler:


The man missed his bus reading the paper.

profile

To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

Helpful Member!  SantaMufasa (TechnicalUser)
8 Dec 11 0:44

Quote:

...lying in the street.
Is that any worse than prevaricating on a sidewalk?

santaMufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
"People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

SamBones (Programmer)
8 Dec 11 11:25
I would prefer a witness that is honest over one lying anywhere.
 
Helpful Member!  MeGustaXL (TechnicalUser)
16 Dec 11 5:20
Is this related to the antique table for sale by a lady with beautifully carved legs?

Chris

Someday I'll know what I'm donig...damn!

 

cmeagan656 (TechnicalUser)
2 May 12 5:40

Quote:

Fuel theft suspect hid in manure from police helicopter.

I didn't know that police helicopters carried manure.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-17562037

Hope this helps.

Please help us help you.  Read Tek-Tips posting polices before posting.
Canadian members check out Tek-Tips in Canada for socializing, networking, and anything non-technical.

hjgoldstein (Programmer)
2 May 12 5:54

Quote:

Lithuanian man, from Ilford, Essex
How can this be?  Surely he was from Lithuania (maybe Vilnius, maybe not) and merely resided in Ilford

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

Helpful Member!  SantaMufasa (TechnicalUser)
2 May 12 14:22
HJGoldstein,

I'm certain it was a mis-print. What they meant was "Lithium-ion man, from Ilford, Essex"...he was arrested for battery. Other details: Religion -- Cathode; Politics -- electrolyte; Financial situation: solvent; Military status -- discharged; favorite toothpaste: polycarbon monoflouride. <grin>

santaMufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
"People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

flyboytim (Programmer)
2 May 12 17:47
Currently employed as a conductor no doubt. Perhaps he was the live wire who submitted the shocking advertisement: "Wanted - Bath for baby with copper bottom."
acl03 (MIS)
8 May 12 10:37
I remember this one from an old MAI post:

Stolen painting found by tree

Thanks,
Andrew

smarty Hard work often pays off over time, but procrastination pays off right now!

CajunCenturion (Programmer)
8 May 12 11:00
==> Stolen painting found by tree
Obviously, a live oak tree.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886: How can I maximize my chances of getting an answer?
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something.  - Plato

flapeyre (Programmer)
15 May 12 12:40
Hitler, Nazi Papers Found in Attic

-- Francis
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.
--Mark Twain

GwydionM (Programmer)
15 May 12 13:35

Quote (Newspaper headline)

Police found safe under blanket

Quote (Newspaper headline)

The matter is being investigated by the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and Glasgow police.

Quote (Newspaper headline)

Ditch Failed Child Support Agency

------------------------------
An old man tiger who lives in the UK

acl03 (MIS)
15 May 12 14:16
An oldie but goodie:

http://www.tek-tips.com/viewthread.cfm?qid=1476054

Thanks,
Andrew

smarty Hard work often pays off over time, but procrastination pays off right now!

Helpful Member!  Annihilannic (MIS)
17 May 12 3:09
The linked thread reminded me of this ad I found in a local magazine:



Spoiler:

Those Romans sure went to a lot of trouble to hide their coins in an undiscovered country!

Most likely a copy and paste error from a UK advertisement...!

Annihilannic
tgmlify - code syntax highlighting for your tek-tips posts

CajunCenturion (Programmer)
17 May 12 9:25

Hidden:

Those Romans sure went to a lot of trouble to hide their coins in an undiscovered country!

Hidden:

It wasn't the Romans that went to a lot of trouble with an undiscovered country, it was the Romulans (among others) that went to a lot of trouble for the undiscovered country.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886: How can I maximize my chances of getting an answer?
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something. - Plato

SamBones (Programmer)
17 May 12 12:55
Annihilannic, there are a lot of other britishisms in that ad. I can't ever remember seeing the word "whilst" in a main stream American publication.

Annihilannic (MIS)
17 May 12 20:03
Actually I'm in an even less discovered country... Australia. smile

Thanks for improving on my hysterical accuracy, CC.

Annihilannic
tgmlify - code syntax highlighting for your tek-tips posts

CajunCenturion (Programmer)
18 May 12 9:18
smile Clearly we have a warped sense of humor.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886: How can I maximize my chances of getting an answer?
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something. - Plato

SantaMufasa (TechnicalUser)
22 May 12 22:49

Quote (SamBones)

Annihilannic, there are a lot of other britishisms in that ad.
I wasn't wearing my glasses when I read SamBones's post, and I mis-read it as bulls***isms. But the ad had a few of those, as well, it appears.

santaMufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
djj55 (Programmer)
23 May 12 7:59
CajunCenturion, are you on some sort of Trek?

djj
The Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23) - I need someone to lead me!

N1GHTEYES (TechnicalUser)
24 May 12 8:48
Are you implying he is a Voyager?

Tony
CajunCenturion (Programmer)
24 May 12 8:53
==> are you on some sort of Trek?
More like a continuing mission to boldly split infinitives.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886: How can I maximize my chances of getting an answer?
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something. - Plato

djj55 (Programmer)
25 May 12 13:09
Sign in restroom "Please do not put anything in the urinal, including paper towels... . Building Management"

"Anything"? Gee, what about what it is designed to handle?

djj
The Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23) - I need someone to lead me!

tcsbiz (Programmer)
25 May 12 17:27
I wonder when the building management was put into the urinal?

I keep trying to do something about my procrastination but I keep putting it off until tomorrow.

hjgoldstein (Programmer)
28 May 12 3:34
Old sign in restroom: "Please do not put cigarette ends in th urinal. It makes them soggy and difficult to light.

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

Annihilannic (MIS)
28 May 12 3:42
I liked this one above a urinal: "What are you laughing at this for? The joke's between your legs!"

Our aim seems to have strayed off topic somewhat...

Annihilannic
tgmlify - code syntax highlighting for your tek-tips posts

2ffat (Programmer)
28 May 12 19:02

Quote:

Our aim seems to have strayed off topic somewhat...
banghead

James P. Cottingham
I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229!

hjgoldstein (Programmer)
29 May 12 3:27
Another (my last) lavatorial sign - this time from the cleaning crew:

We aim to please. You aim too, please.

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

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